Time for an update

Wow, I didn't realize how long it had been since I had updated . So far its been an awsome summer and my kids are loving the awesome weather. I am past the half way mark in my pregnancy and as each day goes by I get more and more anxious. If you ask me what my plan is it will really depend on the day as to what my answer will be. I am still at this point planning to VBAC. Where and how and with who is still not decided. I have not yet found a provider to be supportive and have heard it all from we don't allow this to yeah we can't force you but we will tell you every time we see you that you are making a mistake and putting you and your babies life at risk. Hmm not something I really want to hear at every appointment. I am holding out hope for 1 more provider that I have heard is very VBAC supportive and has in that past encouraged VBA2 and 3c. At this point I have all my options on the table in front of me including home birthing and going unassisted. Nothing is yet set in stone. A repeat is also on my mind but at this point pretty far from becoming a reality. I am somewhat concerned about the amount of scar tissue I have. Not on my uterus but from my wound separation with my last one I know I have tons of scar tissue from skin to fascia. And I do worry that if something were to happen like cord prolapse or even uterine rupture that the amount of scar tissue they would have to get through would be too much and either they wouldn't get to baby in time or I would end up with a classical cut and I DON'T want that. So I know I need to work through that fear and decide if that is enough of a reason to me to have a repeat. It would not be scheduled at all I would wait for labor to start then go in that way at least baby had picked its birth date and we both would get the benefits of labor. I have had many heart to hearts with my mom and to my surprise she says she will be supportive of what ever I choose, providing its in the hospital. Well I knew she would never budge on her opinion of home birth but I was very surprised that she is being supportive of me going for a VBA3C. So that has made a big difference, to know I can at least to a point talk to her about this. So we are just trying to get everything done around here and slowly it is happening. We got the girls room organized and carpets cleaned and this weekend we are going to do the rest of the carpets and get out dinning/laundry room and our bed room mucked out yay! I am so excited. I think once that is done I can just breath for a few. We also need to start getting baby stuff. I still have everything from the girls but we do need a new bassinet. I want to get a co-sleeper for next to the bed but we will see. I also need to get a Moby and try baby wearing for the first time yippy! And the norm diapers, wipes, pumping supplies, milk storage bags ect. Even though I did have 1 ultrasound and found the placenta to be posterior they were not able to see the sex. Everything is telling me this is a boy and I am hoping its a boy but since we don't know I can't get clothes and I have very minimal stuff for a boy so I am hoping I can find out for that reason only. If I had both it would be a surprise. We are though keeping it to ourselves when we do find out as we both think it would be such a cool thing for mostly my fiance to announce the sex to everyone. But w will see if that happens lol as he can get excited and blab very easily.