http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=559913&in_page_id=1879
I recently came across this
article written by
Michel Odent on how he believes fathers shouldn't be present for the birth of their children. I have been thinking a lot about this since reading the article and having a few things jump out to me. My fiance is a pretty laid by kind of guy. But when put into situations that are new or scary to him he gets very tense and anxious. There have been many times he has gotten upset seeing me in pain and he doesn't like it even if he knows its an ok normal pain its hard for him to see me like that. In my last labor he was there but not the way I wanted him to be and I noticed I coped and did a lot better when I was alone. I know I want him there for the birth but I am re thinking him being my constant support during labor. I know in my last labor I could sense when he was near me even if he didn't touch me or say anything I could feel his tenseness if that makes sense. I had planned on hiring 2 doula's 1 for labor support and 1 to help care for the kids as no one in my family knows of our plans and neither do any close friends. Now I am still planning on hiring 2 doula's but I am thinking I am going to have him do the caring for the kids unless I feel I really need him to be with me and in that case I will still have someone who can take care of the kids. I am hoping this time around he will remember and know what to expect and maybe he will be able to relax a little more.
2 comments:
Hi, I'm from your ddc on mdc. I also had what I feel was an unnecessary c-section for ds and feel very uncertain about the birth of the next one. I really hope you get all the support and help you need and have a successful vba3c
Hey, i am milkydoula on MDC! I just wanted to send you encouragement and let you know i am thinking of you as you journey to your vba3c. I had a vba2c in August 06.
Your musings on your partners involvement during labor resonated with me. I was induced early for blood incompatibility and my doula was out of town and my dh was my primary labor support. I won't be putting him in this position again... not because i don't love or trust him, but because his fear and insecurities infected my birthing energy and i freaked out and got an epidural :( I think next time i will involve him in some other way (he's a great photographer). I hope you find a way to meet you and your partner's needs :)
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